Just recently I have been hurt again. This time its just too much. He didn't even give me a chance. Why does heart break have to hurt so bad? I realize it just makes me stronger but it also makes me go off the edge. Then, I have no one to go to and talk really. He said he always will be there for me but it seems like he is lying and he is really busy too. I turn to his best friend who became a good close friend to me and it seems like he is not there either. I need that one guy to be a friend and just sit there and let me cry on his shoulder. I say a guy because girls tend to have more drama which already surrounds me. I just wish it all would end. My meds don't seem to be helping either. I just feel so alone and I don't know what to do about it. I tried to do something about it the other night but I stopped. Still dealing with the after effects. I wish I would have continued though cause I sure can't take any more of this. Then other people put their stress on me. I don't mind when its people who actually need my help but when people come to me with their petty little boy problems like "oh I haven't heard from him in days. Im going to kill myself". I know that is a little over dramatized but its pretty close. Looking at this blog at the larger picture, I realized that I have used alot of 'I's. That seems like such a selfish thing to do. There are other people out there. Yes, I realize I just did a 180 switch of conversation but hey I am bipolar so leave me alone. I feel like I always have to be perfect but yet I always mess up. Perfect for my parents, for college, for God, for everyone else! When will I ever do something for myself?
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