Stop Negative Behavior

My blog is a spot where I am supposed to let out what I am feeling in a good healthy clean way. Its my expression and my opinions. I like constructive criticism. Calling me a stupid bitch through a comment on my blog is not going to happen any more. All comments like that have been removed. They didn't really bother me. The comments were just annoying. By law, I have every right to state my opinions. If you don't like them, be smart and walk away. Why start drama up? That is just the classic high schooler or middle schooler move. How about growing up?

People have been teased so much that they have decided to bring guns to school and shoot up the school. I am not saying that I would or will ever do that but what is usually the reason that those people do that? Oh yes, its because people have teased them so much that they want to do something about it. So think the next time you say something that can be hurtful to people. I try to be very aware of what I say as not to hurt people. Smile at a person passing in the hall. You might make their day. Just over all be nice. I know I can't change the world but I can change myself and I can try to change the people in this world who are close to me. But if they don't want to then that is up to them.

Just try to think of others before you say something or do something. You can make a difference in the world. I know its hard to do this when you feel like your world is crumbling beneath you. Trust me, I have been there and experienced it many times before. Go out and volunteer some place! It might just be the thing to cheer you up.

Heart Break

Just recently I have been hurt again. This time its just too much. He didn't even give me a chance. Why does heart break have to hurt so bad? I realize it just makes me stronger but it also makes me go off the edge. Then, I have no one to go to and talk really. He said he always will be there for me but it seems like he is lying and he is really busy too. I turn to his best friend who became a good close friend to me and it seems like he is not there either. I need that one guy to be a friend and just sit there and let me cry on his shoulder. I say a guy because girls tend to have more drama which already surrounds me. I just wish it all would end. My meds don't seem to be helping either. I just feel so alone and I don't know what to do about it. I tried to do something about it the other night but I stopped. Still dealing with the after effects. I wish I would have continued though cause I sure can't take any more of this. Then other people put their stress on me. I don't mind when its people who actually need my help but when people come to me with their petty little boy problems like "oh I haven't heard from him in days. Im going to kill myself". I know that is a little over dramatized but its pretty close. Looking at this blog at the larger picture, I realized that I have used alot of 'I's. That seems like such a selfish thing to do. There are other people out there. Yes, I realize I just did a 180 switch of conversation but hey I am bipolar so leave me alone. I feel like I always have to be perfect but yet I always mess up. Perfect for my parents, for college, for God, for everyone else! When will I ever do something for myself?

Hoes Over Bros

So the saying goes Hoes over Bros and the opposite for guys Bros over Hoes. I wish this simple saying would work in life. I just got into a big huge fight with my best friend. We have been friends for 4 years now and she lets her boyfriend get in the way of our friendship. Maybe I'm jealous, Maybe I'm not! The point is a guy is not supposed to ruin a friendship. It probably would help if he and I were not attracted to each other simply because we get each other and have bipolar and everything. But what gives her the right to say that he and I cant be friends to talk to each other. I dont have anyone else that I can talk to about this. My bipolar scares me. I have no idea whats going on. To have someone there to talk about it to is the best thing in the world. It just hurts that my best friend tries and takes that away from me. and Its not something I can talk to her about. She wont understand the dreams or the medication not working. GAAAAAAAAAA I would just love to go to a canyon or a cliff and just scream and let out all of my anger but obviously I cant do that. I can't do anything I want or right. Problems just keep piling up. First family problems, then boy problems, and now best friend problems. I hope I figure all of this out before school starts!